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 My Life as a Muslim and the Problem 
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Unread post My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Selamun Aleykum dear WUP Members,

since some of you may know, i elhamdulilah converted from Judaism to Islam 2 years ago. And two years everything was ok. But something happened what destroyed my entire future plans. My parents want me to "forget" islam and all the teachings and they want me to live as a jew and hold the 613 commandments of the torah. This went so far that my mother cried and screamed at me last week at the last day of the "Omer-Counting" in front of the people in the synagogue. But the problem is, that i dont want to live as a jew. I want to stay a muslim. But how can i convince my parents that islam is not so bad? Because i dont want to break the hearts of my parents, especially not the heart of my mother. And i know that without treating your parents good, you cannot come into paradise. So, what should i do?

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Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:17 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
this is your answer from the Noble Qur'an

4:135] O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.


Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:20 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
my first piece of advice would be to know islam in and out. know yourself, know your lord. By doing this you will understand that your prents mean well. Tak ethe labels off. Judaism was once what we know now as Islam. It has the same base, however things went very wrong at some point, which is why we were sent Prophet Muhammad (saw). Without accepting Esah, Judeans cannot and will not accept Muhammad (saw) for what he is, and Esah for what he is.

That's the main problem. On top of the fact that the Torah is no longer what Moses was given. We are all sons and daughters of Adam, therefore followers of Ibrahim. You have to find a common ground, and really make a big effort to know what this life is really about.

Stay strong, you are where you need to be. This is a test for you, as your sister in Islam I'd be more than honored to help you as much as I possibly can. I came from a place of major major confusion, to such an extent that talking about Islam to my family i run the very big risk of being stoned to death. It's a serious situation, so i can sympathize with you. PM me ;) we can have a good chat when i get some time InshAllah.

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Wed Jun 08, 2011 3:23 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Brother, for what I understand you still live with your parents and you are under 18 years old. I would suggest you keep your islam in your bedrooom. Your parents are misguided but you have to be nice to them and not show them what may hurt them. You are lucky at least there is no pork in the house since they are jews and not christians, so you can still share food with them. Allah knows whats in your heart and Allah will not judge for keeping islam inside your bedrooom at least until the tension has come down.

Three years ago a 14 years old german girl came to islam after I chated with her, and she had same problem and her father threatened to kick her of the house, her mother was neutral since she already questioned her faith. When the girl gave shahadah in a masjid in Kiel, her mother came with her to the masjid and guess what? her mother found other germans in the masjid and one german lady who reverted to islam became close to her mother.
This young girl kept coming to me everytime her father would say something and I would tell her to what to say back, and guess what? her father even permitted her to wear headscarf after all. I lost contact with her, I hope she is doing well.

So here brother, if you know any adult former jewish faith follower and who came to islam, I suggest to approach such brother or sister. It would help a lot if your parents would find out that you are not the only former jewish faith follower who came to islam.

Be patient


Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:16 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Yes patience. Lots of it. My brother is in the same boat. He has to keep Islam in his bedroom. But that's okay. I told him the best dawah is good behavior. I advised him to be good to her. :) He' s had a very tough time with food though, poor thing. :(

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Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:24 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Buffalo_Soldier wrote:
Selamun Aleykum dear WUP Members,

since some of you may know, i elhamdulilah converted from Judaism to Islam 2 years ago. And two years everything was ok. But something happened what destroyed my entire future plans. My parents want me to "forget" islam and all the teachings and they want me to live as a jew and hold the 613 commandments of the torah. This went so far that my mother cried and screamed at me last week at the last day of the "Omer-Counting" in front of the people in the synagogue. But the problem is, that i dont want to live as a jew. I want to stay a muslim. But how can i convince my parents that islam is not so bad? Because i dont want to break the hearts of my parents, especially not the heart of my mother. And i know that without treating your parents good, you cannot come into paradise. So, what should i do?


Quote:
[029:008] We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not (in worshiping). Ye have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did.


The spoiler/link below might be of some use insha `Allah.

Quote:
BEING A NEW MUSLIM IN A FAMILY OF NON-MUSLIMS
at http://www.CONVERTSTOISLAM.com

Your family are religious, practising another faith. How will they react when they hear you have chosen a different path for yourself?

If your family are religious, even if they are practicing a different faith, then this can be used to your advantage.

If your family are Christians or Jews then the first point that can be said is that you are all still worshipping the same God. In this day and age, with the many worldly temptations it is all too easy for individuals to take a path that leads them away from God, whereas you have taken the time to study religion and take a path that you feel will bring you closer to God. Although your parents may not realise this in the beginning, they have a lot to be thankful for.

If your parents are practicing Christians or Jews then we would suggest that you try and point out the many similarities between the religions. As muslims we believe that Islam was being taught right from the start so it is hardly suprising that we all do many things the same. Rather than letting your parents think that their child is now very different to them, help them realise the aspects that still join you.

For example:

Belief in the same God. Make sure they realise that Allah (swt) is Arabic for God.
Belief in the same Prophets (peace be upon them all)
Point out the similarities between the stories of the Prophets (peace be upon Them) in the Bible, Torah and Quran
Point out the fact that muslims accept the Torah and Bible as Holy books. Tell them the respect that the books are given, how muslims would not place either book on the floor for example. Explain to them that many muslim households keep copies of these books. (Of course we know that the Holy Quran is the only Holy Book that is protected and that the other Holy Scriptures have been altered to meet the needs of various groups of people. Just look at the number of versions there are! But this might be a conversation to avoid with your family as this will obviously be offensive to them).
Belief in the same moral code of life, eg treatment of neighbours, following the 10 commandments
Belief in the fact that we are all responsible for our own actions
Belief in the concept of a Day of Judgement and a reward for those who do good, and punishment for those whose bad outways their good. (Some Christians do not believe in any punishment on the Day of Judgement as they say that God would not punish us - a simple reminder of the story of Prophet Noah (peace be upon Him), which can be found in the Bible, should suffice)
Belief in Heaven and Hell. Again, some groups in Christianity do not in fact believe in Hell
Belief in Angels
Although the methods may vary, we all have a yearly fast. In Christianity this is 'lent', this is meant as a proper fast, although tends now to be a time when something enjoyed is given up.
If your parents are Christians then tell them about the high place that Islam gives to Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him). Tell them about how we too believe that Prophet Jesus (peace be upon Him) will return to the earth.
If your parents are Jewish then make sure that they realise that Islam holds Prophet Moses (peace be upon Him) in a very high position. As a Prophet we believe that He is totally free from sin and a perfect example to the rest of us.
Perhaps try to explain how since the time of Prophet Adam (peace be upon Him) it has only been one religion that has been taught to the people. The difference being that the previous Prophets (peace be upon Them) came for a specific group of people, and then finally Prophet Muhammed (Peace be upon Him and His Family) came for the whole of mankind for all time. The Bible and Torah both testify that the previous Prophets (peace be upon Them) came for specific groups of people only.
Similarities in the teachings with regards to food and drink. In all the teachings (including Christianity) pig is forbidden. Jews also kill their meat in such a way to drain the blood.

If your parents are practising a different religion, ie not Christianity or Judaism, but a religion that does not involve the worship of Allah (swt) then unfortunately there will not be as many similarities to draw upon. However, there are still some opportunities. For example, the teachings of any religion are likely to include some rules on the treatment of fellow human beings. So perhaps you could point out that as a muslim you now have many obligations towards your fellow human beings, and that Islam provides you with an outline of how to lead a highly moral and decent life.

Whatever religion your family are practising the following two areas are definitely worth explaining to them if you can. They are 'the muslim's duty towards parents' and 'what Islam says about the treatment of non-muslims'.

Duty to Parents.

As converts to Islam we have a greater obligation towards our parents than born muslims. We need to make more of an effort to be kind to our parents, we should phone them more often and go out of our way to show them love and kindness, even if they do not show the same towards us. If disagreements occur we should not raise our voices towards them, we should always talk to them kindly and with respect, whatever the provocation might be. Remember, they may be judging Islam based on how you behave. If they see that Islam has changed you into a better person then alhumdalillah, but damage towards the religion can be easily done just by letting emotion rule your tongue. We need to show them by our good example inshaAllah.

Being kind to one's parents is the best means of attaining the pleasure of Allah (swt).

The Quran says (17.23):

"And your Lord enjoins that you should not worship but Him and be kind to the parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) 'ugh' nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word."

The Quran says (17.24):

"...and lower for them the wings of humility out of mercy, and say, 'My Lord! Have mercy on them as they had nourished me when I was an infant.'"

The Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him and His Family) said: "The pleasure of Allah (swt) lies in the pleasure of one's parents (in the case that it is right), and His wrath lies in their wrath."

Imam Sadiq (as) said: "He who glares at his parents with wrathful eyes, although they have been unjust to him, Allah (swt) will not accept his prayers (unless he repents)."

Imam Sadiq (as) said: "Do treat kindly your parents so that your children do the same to you; and be pious unto the wives of people so that your wives remain pious."


Click here for a very moving letter from a convert to her parents.


What Islam says about how Muslims should treat non-muslims.

As muslims we should always be aware that we are representing Islam. Of course we all make mistakes, but regardless of this, non-muslims will judge Islam by the actions of muslims. If a non-muslim has very little knowledge of Islam then he will assume that the behaviour of a muslim is Islamic.

We therefore need to be particularly careful as to how we conduct ourselves in front of non-muslims. The best way that we can attract new converts is by our example. We cannot, for example, abandon out neighbourly duties if our neighbour is a non-muslim. Imagine how such a neighbour would feel if the muslim took time to collect shopping for them, or bring them round some cooked food. The result is likely to be that they will have a very high opinion of the muslim, and therefore Islam.

Why not look into the ways in which our Prophet (Peace be upon Him and his Family) treated his prisoners during the battles.

Look up the story of the old Jewish lady who used to throw her rubbish out of the window of her house so that it would land on the Prophet (Peace be upon Him and His Family) as he walked past. One day the Jewish lady was not there and no rubbish landed on our Holy Prophet (Peace be upon Him and His Family). Instead of feeling happy that there was no rubbish, the Prophet (peace be upon Him and His Family) knocked on the old lady's door to check that she was alright. On finding that she had fallen ill, the Holy Prophet (peace be upon Him and His Family) set about cleaning her house for her and cooking her some food.

There are many examples that we can look at to see how we should be treating non-muslims. Unfortunately many muslims today have an arrogance and total disrespect for non-muslims. In the worst cases using foul language and threatenning behaviour. If only these people could check the teachings of Islam on this matter, for surely their behaviour is not attracting new converts. This kind of attitude is not in any way something that Islam teaches, rather this is just plain ignorance and stupidity on the part of those people.

So the point here anyway is that your family may be reassured to know what Islam says about the treatment of non-muslims. They may be relieved to know that, despite the propaganda, you will be showing compassion towards your fellow human beings.

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Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:03 am
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Zainab M wrote:
this is your answer from the Noble Qur'an

4:135] O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.


thanks sister! :D



Nusaybah wrote:
my first piece of advice would be to know islam in and out. know yourself, know your lord. By doing this you will understand that your prents mean well. Tak ethe labels off. Judaism was once what we know now as Islam. It has the same base, however things went very wrong at some point, which is why we were sent Prophet Muhammad (saw). Without accepting Esah, Judeans cannot and will not accept Muhammad (saw) for what he is, and Esah for what he is.

That's the main problem. On top of the fact that the Torah is no longer what Moses was given. We are all sons and daughters of Adam, therefore followers of Ibrahim. You have to find a common ground, and really make a big effort to know what this life is really about.

Stay strong, you are where you need to be. This is a test for you, as your sister in Islam I'd be more than honored to help you as much as I possibly can. I came from a place of major major confusion, to such an extent that talking about Islam to my family i run the very big risk of being stoned to death. It's a serious situation, so i can sympathize with you. PM me ;) we can have a good chat when i get some time InshAllah.


yes inshallah i will pm you sister!

LeMaghrebin wrote:
Brother, for what I understand you still live with your parents and you are under 18 years old. I would suggest you keep your islam in your bedrooom. Your parents are misguided but you have to be nice to them and not show them what may hurt them. You are lucky at least there is no pork in the house since they are jews and not christians, so you can still share food with them. Allah knows whats in your heart and Allah will not judge for keeping islam inside your bedrooom at least until the tension has come down.

Three years ago a 14 years old german girl came to islam after I chated with her, and she had same problem and her father threatened to kick her of the house, her mother was neutral since she already questioned her faith. When the girl gave shahadah in a masjid in Kiel, her mother came with her to the masjid and guess what? her mother found other germans in the masjid and one german lady who reverted to islam became close to her mother.
This young girl kept coming to me everytime her father would say something and I would tell her to what to say back, and guess what? her father even permitted her to wear headscarf after all. I lost contact with her, I hope she is doing well.

So here brother, if you know any adult former jewish faith follower and who came to islam, I suggest to approach such brother or sister. It would help a lot if your parents would find out that you are not the only former jewish faith follower who came to islam.

Be patient


so i should act jewish to my parents and be a muslim when im with friends or alone?


and thanks to brother insha for the useful link!

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Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:39 am
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Buffalo_Soldier wrote:
so i should act jewish to my parents and be a muslim when im with friends or alone?


Remember you are still under the care of your parents and they see you as their baby, so dont try to show them they are wrong and you are right, they will reject it, they are thinking you have gone out of your mind. So be neutral with them.


Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:42 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
ok thanks brother!

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Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:15 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Prayer, patience and perseverance is all I can say to you bro.
I can only imagine how difficult it would be to be a muslim in a Jewish family.

I will agree on keeping Islam private and in your bedroom till you can become more free. Surely Allah (swt) will help you and guide you!!

Also arguing with your parents about Islam and the right way of life is going to be futile and at this point will possibly only do more damage than any good. Its best to avoid talking to them about your religion and keeping it private, in your heart and in your bedroom. Atleast until you've grown a little more older and have more freedom and you can move out and such.



I guess there's no harm in being a good Jew. Just don't drink. Jews don't eat pork anyway and eat kosher food which is pretty much the same as Halal food so there shouldn't be anything stopping you from living your normal Jewish life as a Muslim. Morals are universal. You can pray and read Quran privately in your bedroom or when you're away from your parents.

It is also said in someways Judaism is more closer to Islamic teachings because unlike Christianity, Judaism didn't get tainted with polytheism with the trinity and iconography. Jews still believe in one supreme God which is much closer to the Islamic believe of Oneness of God than is Christianity with its Trinity.

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Thu Jun 09, 2011 4:09 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
ok thanks for the helpful advices brother TS!

i shall use these advices

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Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:23 am
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Buffalo_Soldier wrote:
Selamun Aleykum dear WUP Members,

since some of you may know, i elhamdulilah converted from Judaism to Islam 2 years ago. And two years everything was ok. But something happened what destroyed my entire future plans. My parents want me to "forget" islam and all the teachings and they want me to live as a jew and hold the 613 commandments of the torah. This went so far that my mother cried and screamed at me last week at the last day of the "Omer-Counting" in front of the people in the synagogue. But the problem is, that i dont want to live as a jew. I want to stay a muslim. But how can i convince my parents that islam is not so bad? Because i dont want to break the hearts of my parents, especially not the heart of my mother. And i know that without treating your parents good, you cannot come into paradise. So, what should i do?


Al humdoolilah (Praise be to Allah swt) whom has guided you aright.

Yes you are right in obeying your parents and you are commanded to do so except when they are telling you to do something that goes against the commandments of Allah (swt).

We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not. Ye have (all) to return to me, and I will tell you (the truth) of all that ye did. Qur'an 29:8

Allah (swt) is testing you so be steadfast and persevere with patience and for you will be a great reward Insha Allah.

You must treat your parents with kindness and so since they have a hatred for Islam, don't shove it in their face. Practice it in private so that they can't see you praying as this will surely enrage them.

Once you are old enough to move out, do so and then you can begin to convey the message to them.

In the meantime, pray to Allah (swt) that He may guide them to the straight path and be patient with them.

Remember, Allah (swt) is testing your faith so persevere with the utmost strenuousness and put your full trust in Allah (swt) and always remember that Allah (swt) does not burden one with more than they can handle.

May Allah (swt) aid you in your task Insha Allah.

Salam brother

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Fri Jun 10, 2011 2:49 pm
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
aleykum selam

yazakallah khair brother!

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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
Buffalo_Soldier wrote:
Selamun Aleykum dear WUP Members,

since some of you may know, i elhamdulilah converted from Judaism to Islam 2 years ago. And two years everything was ok. But something happened what destroyed my entire future plans. My parents want me to "forget" islam and all the teachings and they want me to live as a jew and hold the 613 commandments of the torah. This went so far that my mother cried and screamed at me last week at the last day of the "Omer-Counting" in front of the people in the synagogue. But the problem is, that i dont want to live as a jew. I want to stay a muslim. But how can i convince my parents that islam is not so bad? Because i dont want to break the hearts of my parents, especially not the heart of my mother. And i know that without treating your parents good, you cannot come into paradise. So, what should i do?
Buffalo_Soldier, curious, but did you ever ask them why they decided they preferred that path for you? After two years, maybe they had their reasons - do you know what they were/are?

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Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:04 am
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Unread post Re: My Life as a Muslim and the Problem
i dont know..

maybe because of the jewish destiny i cant tell

fact is that they dont want me to practize islam anymore

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Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:22 am
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